Libido is that delicious desire within us to seek physical, emotional, and sexual pleasure and orgasmic release. Love pushes us to get closer to our desired partner. Love helps us to feel invincible, as if we can overcome all obstacles and overcome all difficulties. But pain can stop us in our tracks.
Pain has sometimes been called the fifth vital sign. When we feel pain, especially sharp, stabbing, spasmodic, and intense, most of us can only focus on one thing: relieving or getting rid of the pain. Occasionally, after intense athletic training, after an unexpected fall or injury, we may experience temporary pain that causes us to avoid sexual intimacy for a short period of time. And, usually, our relationship does not suffer such a short hiatus.
But what happens when pain becomes the norm, when our body hurts more or even all the time? What happens when we have difficulty turning our head, bending our spine or knees, or supporting our body weight with our arms? What happens when severe body pain blocks our desire to have sex?
When our bodies scream in pain, sexual desire is usually not a very high priority. What we long for and need is to find a way to ease the pain. This is where love and nurturing can help us overcome all obstacles. A loving partner can touch, massage, and soothe our muscles, joints, or general pain.
Pain takes on a life of its own and demands attention and respect. If we honor pain and find ways to reduce it, our natural libido can regain its rightful place in our lives. When your body hurts, DO NOT ignore it and keep trying to please your partner on your own. Be open and honest. Talk to your partner. Share your fears and discover together what works for pain relief.
Sometimes a hot bath or jacuzzi will help enhance your passion, especially if you share the experience. Warm water and vibratory sensations can help you and your partner experience sensual delight.
Get moving. Sometimes the pain begins to lessen as you walk and stretch, causing circulation to flow to painful parts of the body. Sometimes rest, relaxation, and sleep are the best solutions.
If certain physical activities, such as sex, are excruciatingly painful, explore with your partner some new ways to find pleasure together. Open communication, a sense of physical and emotional security, and a relaxing environment (soothing music, soft lights, pleasant scents in the air, soft pillows, warm blankets) along with loving eye contact, kind words, and gentle touch can help. to make your brain jump. pain signals. Sexual arousal enhances the release of feel-good hormones and pain-relieving endorphins. Sometimes just having a sexual encounter can help your pain decrease temporarily.
Pain is part of life. It affects us all at some point, especially as we age. Pain can be unpleasant and it certainly has the potential to limit our range of activities. But pain does not have to interfere, block or impede the enjoyment of sexual and sensual pleasure. In a loving relationship, we can find a way back to pleasure and sometimes that is the real solution to eliminating pain.