Michael Jackson’s uniqueness left many people looking at his memorial with ambivalence. Is it okay to worry about him? Should his alleged actions (remember he was never convicted of being a pedophile) outshine his incredible talent and accomplishments? Would he dare to say that I liked him? His fans will say yes, and his critics will say no. But most people just aren’t sure how to feel.
Certainly his talent is undeniable. We spent our entire childhood dancing and singing Michael Jackson songs. Its appeal spanned generations. We get up from our chairs and dance. It was a “thriller” for us for years. Since we adore him, he clearly did not adore himself. He was constantly ripping his face off, repeatedly undergoing surgeries to recreate another me; him changing the color of his skin, staying terribly thin as if he expected not to be seen and to disappear. Until he achieved his goal. And now he has disappeared.
It’s easy to criticize a 50-year-old man whose most fervent wish was to be Peter Pan, not grow up and live his life in Neverland. And it’s easy to believe that anyone who would spend millions to create a playground could be using it to attract young people and satisfy their deviant desires. Maybe his money allowed him to be more brazen than a pedophile ever would be. But with all the possibilities, one thing is clear. Michael Jackson was severely developmentally delayed and emotionally he was a very young child. Although the calendar said he was 50 years old, his extremely limited childhood experiences left a void in him that he could never fill.
As hard as he tried, he couldn’t help but not have any of the normal and expected childhood experiences that children need to mature and function successfully in the society in which they live. If someone put you in a closet for a month, you would be a month older when you came out. But would you be smarter? Or have matured at all. All of that would have been totally stifled. If I took you out of the closet and taught you to read, that would be all you would know. You may be smarter but not yet more mature. Maturity comes from having constant and varied life experiences.
Children who have been very sick, children who use drugs, those who have experienced abuse and neglect, and any other situation that has taken them away from the mainstream of what is considered a “normal” childhood can experience developmental delay. Many people have this to one degree or another. Today, sheltered children have the opportunity to socialize and be children. People know how important this is. Michael’s maturation delay was extreme. And while his agile body amazed us, he was paralyzed by his inability to function as a normal adult in the world in which he lived.
Seeing it this way can help alleviate the ambivalence in the way people mourn you. This man-child was a giant in his field and changed the world of music and entertainment forever. It is a tragedy that he could not fill his own shoes.