Losing a child custody case can feel like losing your child forever. You may be just beginning to realize that you won’t be able to be with your child the way you want, as legal restrictions will get in the way.
Who can blame a parent who has lost a custody battle for feeling bitter, angry, depressed, and anxious? How do you cope with the loss and the resulting feelings?
Bad feelings as a result of losing a custody battle are valid feelings, but in the long run they will backfire on you and everyone around you, especially your children, if you don’t work to immediately shift them into positive thinking.
The first step to take would be to get all the help you need. This could mean seeking professional help. An expert, such as a psychologist or counselor, can help you regain your emotional and mental health and develop a more positive outlook. It is often very helpful to find someone you can talk to about the painful experience you just went through. You may decide to undergo therapy to help you come to terms with the things that have happened in your life and help you positively look forward to another day. The types of therapy available could include medication therapy for depression and anxiety, relaxation methods, natural remedies, cognitive behavioral therapy, etc.
For some parents, writing down their feelings in a journal and perhaps turning that journal into a book or report that can help other parents in the same situation can sometimes help ease some of the pain.
You may be able to learn to manage your stress, anxiety, and depression yourself. There are a multitude of self-help books everywhere. Several of these will be listed below. Strategies like meditation, deep breathing, and muscle relaxation can be helpful. You may need to undergo a reassessment to find out what your strengths and weaknesses are. Once they’ve been identified, you can take steps to eliminate some of the weaknesses and strengthen the areas where you’re already strong.
Remember that even if you are no longer the primary caregiver for your children, if you have visitors, be sure to make the most of them. Focus on the children, let them see that you are working towards a positive balance in your life, and be a role model for them.
Never, ever blame the custodial parent of your children, yourself or them. Children don’t always understand why their parents behave the way they do, but negativism has a way of creeping in and degrading everyone’s mental health and should be avoided at all costs.
Keep in mind that your children will not always be children. As they grow over the years, give them a reason to hold you in their hearts and minds and you can reap the benefits when they are young adults themselves. At the very least, you can be sure that this will influence how they raise their own children.