There are four powerful factors in your life that are likely to have a significant impact on your relationship, and may even damage your relationship without you clearly understanding what is really going on. When you understand these factors, you can use the knowledge to create a relationship that you never want to lose. The following is true for most people in committed relationships. Let’s see if it suits you.
1. It worked before; now it doesn’t work! The way you learned as a child to deal with significant frustrations has probably become a first impulse way of dealing with frustrations in your relationship, but while it may have worked as a child, it won’t work in your marriage/relationship! If you apply those early ways of coping, you will actually end up unintentionally hurting your spouse/partner again, thus creating distance and tension.
The couple’s task: Identify old ways of coping that no longer work and learn new ways to respond and deal with relationship frustrations that will help you connect and feel better.
2. “You touched an old Wound!” Some of the most significant and painful emotional wounds, frustrations, and wounds from childhood are carried with you today as areas of sensitivity and will inevitably be touched upon or reactivated by your spouse or life partner. Up to 90% of the pain, hurt, and frustration you and your partner experience in your relationship can actually come from the story: touching or reactivating old hurts.
The couple’s task: Learn what those old wounds are in you and your partner, act intelligently and kindly on this knowledge, and find ways to actually help heal those old wounds instead of reactivating them.
3. “I want you to be yourself and this is the me to be!” You both bring into the relationship a lot of family “rules”, assumptions and beliefs about how you and your partner “should” be in a relationship and when your partner breaks your “family rules” you may find yourself with a strong sense of discomfort and frustration. and maybe anger. It’s the same if you break their family rules.
The couple’s task: Develop excellent communication skills, learn to identify family and cultural values that may differ from one another, and learn to create your own partner values.
4. “Why should you be hungry? I fed you last month!” You and your spouse/partner are probably experiencing some kind of “malnutrition” in your relationship and you may not even know that in your relationship, you and your partner need regular nourishment, nourishment and care, sometimes in ways that will seem strange to you. the person who was asked. to give these parenting behaviors.
The couple’s task: Learn the words, touches and behaviors that make your partner feel loved and cared for and give him 3-5 of these every day. Make sure you have fun regularly and do things that make you laugh often.
Another interesting fact Couples who seek professional help for their marriage/relationship do so five or six years after they first become aware that they have significant difficulties. Add to that the reality that we know much more about restoring and healing relationships than ever before and you can see the need to provide valuable information to thousands of couples. Hence the couple’s workstation. Click here and then click Join as a member to get a free first month on the couple’s workstation. Be sure to use the certificate number that will be provided to you when you sign up for the free month.