If you’ve been potty training for a while or if you’re just getting ready to start, you’ve probably considered the topic of potty training rewards.
These are little prizes that we give to our toddlers and preschoolers for working on their healthy potty habits.
I have four potty-trained children, and while I believe potty rewards are a must, I also believe they can be counterproductive to parents when we’re not paying attention to what we’re doing.
Potty Training Rewards: The Good.
– Everyone likes to receive prizes. Young children do too. Nothing motivates them in the moment like the promise of a reward.
Some young children will move their version of a mountain for a small, insignificant prize. If this describes your child, use it to your advantage to help him move forward.
– Using potty rewards does more than help your child learn to use the potty. It also sets the stage for goal setting and goal attainment as you grow.
The skill of personal achievement is just that, a skill to be learned and practiced. When your child is two years old, the skill is all about learning to use the potty for a treat. By the time he’s thirteen, he practices his flute every day and earns the right to be in a jazz band and by the time he’s twenty-two he studies six nights a week and relaxes on night seven so he can get into graduate school.
Potty Training Rewards: The Bad.
– Potty rewards usually lose their luster with toddlers pretty quickly. That’s not because the prize isn’t good; it is because the small child is an imaginative human being. So, as parents, we need to modify our use of rewards on a regular basis.
If a prize is working, well, stick with it. If not, swap it for another one and have several more options on the wings.
– If a toddler is tired, tired, tired from potty training, the rewards will stop working. Remember, small prizes are a motivation to keep working towards the real prize, which is to grow.
Toddlers and preschoolers are normal people, and sometimes they get tired of these things growing up. So they stop. It helps if we can respect that for a few days or a week while giving lots of extra hugs and love. When your little potty trainee is ready to grow a little bigger, he will. And you’ll be ready with the prizes to gently push him a long way.
Potty Training Rewards: The Ugly.
– Overusing rewards until they are worthless is a very real problem. If the whole concept of rewards gets tainted in her preschooler’s mind, he’ll be suspicious every time he offers one of hers and find it hard to motivate her with anything.
Remember, there’s a big difference between giving an award for a job well done and throwing awards at someone in the hope that they’ll do what you say. Young children are bright people and can definitely tell the difference. What is the takeaway here? Simply that potty training rewards, if used correctly, can be a great help to you and your toddler as they learn to make their new potty habits second nature.
Rewards cannot, at any time, replace actual training and encouragement. They are a complement to make the process more fluid and fun. They are NOT the process itself.
Enjoy your potty training season with your child. This is the first of many times that the two of you will work together toward a goal. Keep your perspective and teach your child how a journey of many miles involves taking one step at a time, day after day.