Virtually every marketing book I’ve ever read, every marketing expert I’ve heard, and every marketing plan I’ve ever seen includes what is possibly the most feared word in my business lexicon: (play scary music in the background)
Networks.
I can almost hear all of you super extroverts saying, “Well, of course!”
Stop your horses there, Bucko. Not so “of course!” ‘Cause we mind my own business, just-okay-here-in-the-corner folks. The thought of walking into a room full of actual strangers to strike up multiple conversations is second only to eating broccoli on my list of “good for me” not-fun things to do.
Even when I was waiting tables, the regulars knew not to sit at my station listening to the latest gossip. They came to me for courteous and efficient service, but not for my quackery. One manager went so far as to tell me that he would never get good tips because he didn’t know how to converse properly. (He proved him wrong.)
No charlatans, unite!
I’ve built most of my marketing methods around a framework that doesn’t require networking. Because frankly, it’s not one of my biggest strengths right now, so why would I trust it as a way to grow my business just because someone else tells me I should? No, I am too against that, my friends.
However, I recognize that there are situations where putting in a little Face Time makes good business sense. So, for those of you who aren’t in the boat with me, here are 3 life preservers I’ll throw your way. (You are partiers, watch and learn).
1. Make your own kind of music. What I mean by that is throw out how it’s “supposed to be done” and reinvent your own version of networking. In fact, create your own word for the activity as well. Now I prefer to say that I am jumping. I get this great mental image of me hopping from person to person like this adorable bunny. Very carefree and relaxed. (It’s nothing like the image I get from networking: me, shoving my hand into someone’s face, saying through clenched teeth, “Helen Graves, nice to meet you!”)
2. Make them come to you. The talk is so much easier when you don’t have to make the first move. If you have a cheerful-looking Labrador guide dog on hand, he is obviously the best at drawing a crowd. But aside from that, give some thought to how you could become a people magnet. Take a box of chocolates with you and spread them out generously. Wear a large sign that says “Kiss me, I’m not contagious.” Offer the staff the welcome table (or better yet, the bar!).
3. Take the pressure off. At the last big event I attended, I made it a point to talk to three new people every day. No business required, just a quick chat. And once I accomplished my goal, I didn’t expect anything more from myself. Sometimes that would take all day, other days I’d get it done before the first break. But I found that having a closed goal gave me focus, as well as relieved my anxiety as soon as I achieved it. (Which, paradoxically, allowed me to chat with more people). It even turned out to be a good icebreaker. People were happy to help me achieve my goal being one of the three I spoke to.
Like Frank Sinatra, I’m a firm believer in doing things my way (or in his case, his way). So if networking is likely never to be your first love, stop doing it. Try jumping, being a magnet, or taking it easy.