If you ask a blind man to describe an elephant, will his description be accurate? Well, that’s what happens when you ask a lot of people what they want in a love relationship.
The 27th reason why you can’t find love is too big. And it is one that is swept under the rug. All you have to do is ask people one simple question: What do you want in a relationship? Most tell you what they don’t want. So they don’t really answer the question.
If you guessed the number 27, the reason you can’t find love is because you don’t know what you want, you guessed it correctly. People will avoid the question by saying they’ll know it when they see it.
Perhaps part of the reason most can’t answer the question is because they don’t know what they offer. If you dig deep, people don’t know what it takes to make a relationship work. Conceived. You don’t know what you’re offering and you don’t know what it takes to make it work. That’s a disaster waiting to explode. That’s why chemistry is so important. Chemistry is based on a momentary feeling. Knowing what you want from a person and what you want in a relationship is the result of long-term thinking.
If you want to stump someone, ask them what they want. While it’s a simple question, they will squirm. Some may try to respond by saying that they want marriage and children. Marriage is the result of a marriage. That is a matter of one day. And the children eventually leave. So what kind of relationship will you have after the wedding? What kind of relationship will he have before and after the children?
Perhaps part of the problem is that people have fantasies about relationships and will never tell you about their Hollywood fantasy. Also, they don’t want to be responsible for making that fantasy come true. They expect the other person to do all the work. They express it with the new buzzword. They say relationships should be effortless. Effortless means that the other person puts in effort and the relationship magically happens.
Instead of using Hollywood and fairy tales to gauge what you want out of a relationship, take an inventory of yourself. Be realistic about who you are and who is compatible with you. Stay away from fantasies. For example, if you want a well-traveled person who speaks multiple languages and has never left your neighborhood, you may not have enough to offer that type of relationship. What are you willing to be responsible for in order to have the relationship you want? How are you willing to become the person who can create the relationship you want? Simply focusing on those 2 questions can get you closer to understanding what you want.
I’ll be back with more.